Post-English Subbing

The good thing about subbing in an area outside of my expertise is that it expands my horizons into ideas I haven't thought about for a long while (as I said, around 35 years!).

I've been writing research papers for years. Since I started college in 1993, actually. I was a late-bloomer; I didn't go to college until I was 31. I did things backwards - married, had my son, then went to college. Anyway, with all my writing experience, and my editing experience as a teacher, I see myself as an expert. However, that expertise ended with non-fiction writing. I have loved writing since I was young, but when I tried to write some kind of fiction, I got stuck. Everything I wrote felt trite or uninteresting. I had lots of words, but few ideas. Well, actually, I had lots of ideas, but couldn't express them in a way that made others want to read them. Or made me want to read them.

Here comes the expanding horizons part. The teacher I was subbing for, Ken, is an amazing writing teacher. He has his kids writing and writing and writing, and not worrying about the quality of their first drafts - everything is subject to revision later. He had them read an essay called Shitty First Drafts by Annie Lamott, that talks about "down drafts", "up drafts" and "dental drafts". You can read it yourself, but the gist is that the down draft is going to be revised. Every time. Down drafts are for putting ideas down on paper. Revising those ideas as you go along can actually limit the process. This is a revolutionary concept for me. It frees me up to just write and not filter or revise as I go. It reminds me of the idea behind National Novel Writing Month. Just write. Turn off your inner critic and just get your thoughts on paper. Or in the computer - whichever works.

I've been playing with the idea of writing a novel in November for years, ever since I heard about NaNoWriMo. I got stuck on silencing my inner critic, though. That darn critic is pretty loud! I practiced while I was subbing, though - to circle back to my original topic - and I'm ready to try writing 50,000 words in 30 days. Wish me luck.

Other ideas that came out of this experience - I need to rewrite the essays I submitted with my teaching applications this summer. I'm not sure they were my best work, and my ideas have refined as I've been back in the classroom. It's time to revisit the ideas and to be sure I'm expressing myself clearly. Wish me luck there, too!

Random thoughts for today

I read an article on the BBC website about a Danish concept called Hygge - the idea of creating a warm, homey atmosphere and good times with good people. It reflects the way I'm trying to live my life these days. Slower, more appreciative of the little things that make life comfortable and welcoming. Good food, good conversation, good company. I'm grateful that I have an abundance of all those things.

So, along those lines, I'm going to hang out at home today, watch football (ok, that's good times for me!), and make a small batch of peach jam with some peaches I've had in the fridge for a couple of weeks. That's about all they're good for at this point, anyway, so why not?

I'm also going to work on the Christmas stockings for my partner's family. I've been chipping away at them for a while, and it's finally cool enough to get some good work done on them.

Hygge for the win.

I took this a few years ago, in Lexington, MA

Quiet Saturday...

I love quiet Saturdays. Especially rainy quiet Saturdays.

One of the features of my new house that I love the most is the huge window overlooking my covered porch. I've never had a porch before (as an adult anyway!), and the window stretches almost the whole width of the porch. It's just so peaceful to look out and watch the rain fall. I hear it might be snow by next week again!

The dog and I have spent the day snoozing, getting up for a snack, going outside briefly, then settling in to snooze again. Well, she snoozed again. I studied bar stuff. Today was Contracts. It's the area I have the most trouble with, so I'm immersing myself in it this weekend. Sort of penance for not studying the topic hard enough during law school.

Meanwhile, the dog continues to snore, and Army and Navy are playing in the background, while the rain drips off the roof of the porch. Very peaceful.

May we all find peace this holiday season.

Happy Chanukah.

Nice lazy Saturday

Surprise! It's snowing again! Light flurries - it's too cold to do much more than that. 20 degrees this morning, which is a HUGE improvement from yesterday's temperatures in the teens! Lizzie has been sleeping all day so far. She woke up at 7 and had to go out - of course, since Saturday is my sleep-in day - but then she went right back to bed, even without her breakfast! She did get up and wander around a bit when I brought her downstairs, but now she's sleeping again. She has the right idea!

I'm spending my day doing the usual weekend stuff - laundry, cleaning, baking, knitting, reading... it's a good day to be inside.

Tomorrow, the Henry Knox Museum is having their holiday open house, at Montpelier, in Thomaston. Knox is one of my favorite characters from the Revolutionary period, and I haven't been there yet, so the holiday open house will be a nice introduction to the mansion. I may volunteer over there next summer. Or even work there part-time. Could be fun.

I'm off to transfer wash into the dryer, and to put another load in. I love weekends.

Front Yard in Snow

I love working from home

Especially on days like today. It snowed, so I haven't left the house all day. I like this. It was a light snow, barely 2 inches, but it was nice to sit in front of my very big front window and watch the snow fall, and know I didn't have to drive in it and worry about black ice or the other stupid drivers on the road.

I got a foster dog, Lizzie, from a Cocker Spaniel rescue in New York, about two weeks ago. She's 10 years old, black with a gray muzzle, and very sweet. We're having some potty training issues, but she's improving. She was in the kennel for about a month, and I think she lost track of how to let someone know when she has to go. She also sleeps very deeply and doesn't feel when she has to go, so sometimes she poops in her sleep. I have her sleeping on towels, and I do laundry a lot. It's a lot like having a toddler! She's very snuggly, and loves to run in the yard. I'm glad my front yard is fenced in - she LOVES to run out there.

In other news, work has picked up a lot. I love being able to get up a bit later - around 8 - and not having to commute! I just shower, make coffee, go out with Lizzie, then turn on my computer and get right to work. It's awesome. I can take a break when I need to, go to the post office or the store, or the dump when I need to. I do have to go meet clients and go to court occasionally, but for the most part, I'm at home. I love it. The only down side I have found is making sure I watch the clock, so I don't sit for too long, and so I remember to eat lunch. I'll look up at 3 pm and wonder why I'm so hungry, and why my behind and back hurt. It's because I've been sitting in the same spot since 8:30, with only a few short breaks to go out with Lizzie! Really, though, that is such a minor issue. I can eat a good, hot dinner every night because I have time to cook. I made cornbread this afternoon, to have with dinner. I really enjoy that part. I also really like being home with Lizzie, and having her company. It makes a big difference to me.

More later this week, when I have more time and a little less work to get done! Meantime, here's a couple of Lizzie shots:

My Maine experience so far

I've been here about a month, and it's been, well, very interesting.

I've had a few hiccups with the house. It was a bit dismaying at first because it was so different from my house on Cape Cod. Then again, as my son reminded me, it took me nearly 20 years to get the old house in shape, so I need to remember that and be patient. I love the size of the house, I love that my office is right in the house, and I love that the house has so much light coming in. It feels very comfortable.

I don't like that the heat is still dodgy - the landlord's handyman is working on it, but slowly. There are two furnaces here, one in the house and one in the office. The house one is connected to a very old oil tank, that needs to be scrapped. The office one is connected to the better oil tank, and the handyman is in the process of moving that one to the front of the house so the oil guy can deliver when there's snow on the ground. It's taking a looonnnnggg time. At least the house furnace is working right now, but I have no heat in the office. That's fine until the weather gets colder, which may happen any day now.

I am getting my boxes unpacked, and every time I get another area set up, I feel more at home. My office is set up, complete with a comfy chair with a lamp next to it, so I can read client papers in comfortably. I love the view from my office - I overlook my big side yard, and I can see the traffic coming and going on the street. My pictures are at the wall, my knick knacks are getting in place, and I have found some of my scented candles. More and more at home all the time.

The people here are very friendly and welcoming. I haven't been in a single store, diner, or even the dump when someone doesn't strike up a conversation with me. I have been to my local knitting group a couple of times, and the folks there have been welcoming.

I'm finding my way around, to the grocery store, the least expensive gas stations, the local hardware store. I'm spending quite a bit of time at the hardware store! I also have internet, HD TV and phone, so I'm a happy girl! I really feel like I'm settling in nicely. It is different, but in a good way. It's quieter, it's more peaceful, and I feel safer. I'm even training myself to leave doors unlocked when I'm inside the house! That's a huge step for me!

The next post will have more pictures. Promise.

A little rant, and a little news

First, the Rant: I am so sick of stupid ads on TV. The ones that treat viewers as if we're all stupid and automatically fall for the lowest, basest stereotypes. The ones that repeat every 5 minutes, because viewers are too dull to have gotten it the first time around. The ones that are so artsy and esoteric that I can't even figure out what they're selling. The ones that tell consumers that they're not worth crap unless they have the latest, greatest "new and improved" version of whatever they bought last year. {Don't get me on my soapbox about "new and improved."} I'm not going to mention crummy grammar or the Stupid Dad stereotype - although I could. Easily. I guess I will just have to stick with my Tivo or my DVDs, so I don't have to be subjected to the idiocy that is most marketing.

On the News side - I'm moving away from Cape Cod! After 25 years! I have a job offer in a small town in Maine called Waldoboro, and I'll be moving right around Columbus Day weekend. I have signed a lease with a nice couple who will rent my house on the Cape, and who I believe will take good care of it, which puts my mind at ease. I'm excited about moving forward with my life and my career, although leaving here will be hard. I always said I'd have to be taken out of here with a shovel, because I would be dead before I left. Guess I tempted the gods with that one. Of course, that was said when my life was wonderfully sewn up - my husband was still alive, I still liked teaching, my family was still close by. Now the family has moved on themselves, as they should. Teaching lost its appeal, and law gained appeal, and my husband has been gone more than 5 years now. Time to move on. I'm excited for the new career, the new house, and the small, quiet town I'll be moving to, although I'm sure I will have a good cry when I actually leave.

Meantime, I'm purging the garbage out of my house - even though I did that already after my husband passed, or so I thought. Amazing how much junk we accumulate, isn't it? I'm getting quotes from moving companies, looking for a church and a knitting group in Maine, and thinking ahead to winter. Finally, I'll get to wear all my knitted stuff! Possibly all at once! Glad I knit socks... and mittens, and hats, and sweaters...

Maine, here I come!

Life has its turns, doesn't it?

My step-son went back to jail last night. The short version, and the only version I'll put on the web, is that he violated his parole and was taken back to jail. That sucks. No other word for it. It sucks. He was upset, I was upset, his sister, my mother, all of us were upset at this development.

Now for the heartwarming part of the story. I spent last night and this morning on the phone and email, letting the family know. I talked with my step-daughter, his sister, for a long time, and we're at peace, knowing we did all we could for him. I went to see my mother, to tell her in person, and talked with her a long time. She, too, helped where she could, and is at peace with what she was able to do for him. I talked with my son, who also held me up, and with my significant other, who did the same. What I find so heartwarming is that I have so many people to turn to for support. I haven't even scratched the surface - I've only talked with immediate family so far, including my sisters. One sister called me this morning to say how sorry she is at this turn of events. We had a wonderful talk. Today, I'll start calling the friends who need to know. I expect the same reaction from them - sadness at his relapse, support for me, encouragement in whatever path I choose to take next.

I'm counting my blessings this morning. Despite the heart-soreness I'm feeling (the only description I can come up with), I have so much support and love in my life, that I really do feel blessed.

At least now, if he goes back to court, I know what the process will consist of. A slight benefit of studying law.

School and other complaints...

So, this has been a weird week. I got my grades for my first semester of law school on Friday evening, and it was a mixed bag. A couple were good, a couple were so-so, and one was a hell of a shock. I've spent my week thinking about how to change/ improve my strategy, and talking to school friends about their strategies. I got some excellent suggestions, and some reminders of strategies that I learned about this summer, before I started school. I'm going to implement those this week, and see what happens. I am not, however, giving up, under any circumstances. I know I am learning new ways of thinking and writing, and I know it's a process, so I'm going to stick with it.

In other news, I had fender-bender a couple of weeks ago, and my car is in getting fixed this week. Of course, a part is back-ordered, so the car won't be done until about Monday. Maybe. Or Tuesday. Maybe. This means I'm spending next week in Cambridge again, which is not a bad thing -- it's certainly easier for me to go back and forth to school from there -- but I do miss my home during the week. I also miss my knitting group on Tuesdays! I need them to make me laugh, keep me grounded, and to generally be non-law-students, i.e. NORMAL people! Well, sort of. You guys know you're only semi-normal. I love you anyway. :-D

My son is in NJ, getting his head straight and his meds adjusted - I'm glad he's on top of his issues. He's needed to for a while. One more way his girlfriend is just the perfect person for him -- she is pushing him to become the best person he can be. I absolutely love this girl.

My other roommate, Justin, finally got his car on the road this week, so he's been able to job-hunt, finally. I'm glad for him. He can also go see his girlfriend when he wants to, which is where he is now. He's been very helpful this week, doing the running around to help me get my car fixed. I really would have had a stressful week without his help.

Meanwhile, my BF has been in Redmond, at Microsoft's annual "Frat Party", or Quarterly Business Report, depending on who's describing it. I call it the Frat Party because they all spend every night going out to dinner, clubs, dancing, playing pool, then they get up and do meetings all day long. Nuts, all of them. BF had trouble getting out there on Monday -- took him a total of 25 hours from door to door!!! Now, he just called me -- he's at SeaTac and the airline can't find his reservation. He has a confirmation number for Northwest, but it's a flight-share with Alaska Air, who is now operated by Delta. In short, he's got a receipt, someone paid a lot of money for the flight, but he can't get on a plane. He just wants to get home. I'm sure it will work out -- it always does -- but what a pain in the tuckus in the meantime. It seems that every time he's on his way home, he runs into some sort of problem. It's not usually this bad, but it seems like it's always something. Now, MS wants him to start traveling again, so he'll be running into this all over again. He's going to need some serious de-stress techiniques to deal with the travel.

On the plus side of life, my cleaner comes today, and the boys are out of the house! The house will stay clean for more than 10 minutes after she's gone! Hooray! I plan to enjoy it by just looking and sighing deeply. The cats have also started fighting less. I can't say they're exactly getting along, but they are sharing the couch occasionally without hissing. This is a good thing.